10 Things I Don't Like About Cyprus

WORK IN PROGRESS: This article is, as the label suggest, a Work in Progress, so may change radically over the next few days. In the mean time please feel free to volunteer your suggestions and comments.


Following my article '10 Things I Love About Cyprus', I thought I would balance things out a bit and list the 10 things I don't like about Cyprus. This is more interesting for most people who are thinking of living in Cyprus because its the kind of stuff you wouldn't know until you have lived here for a while. However, please keep in mind the Things I Love article all the time whilst reading this, as there really is much more that I love about Cyprus than I loath. Anyway here we go..

1. Animal Neglect & Cruelty.

I'm trying to be careful not to generalise here, but "in general" the Cypriots often don't seem to have much regard for their animals. In the last three years, my wife and I have been upset by the sight of dogs released next to highways, or tied and abandoned under bridges where they will die the most agonising death in the baking sun. Many of those that do keep dogs will rarely walk then, and keep them in a cage in the back-yard of their homes - sometimes without adequate food or water, and little opportunity to exercise or socialise.

The most cruel example of this related to the treatment of hunting dogs. A popular time of the year in Cyprus is the hunting season, and many people in Cyprus keep hunting dogs tied up in their yards for this reason - of course with little food or water, room to exercise, and certainly no walks. In fact the Cypriot government actively - though perhaps inadvertently promote this behaviour by not requiring the registration or payment of the yearly dog license fee if the dog is not walked!

More than likely, you will have heard of the extensive dog and cat poisonings that happen throughout Cyprus - often using Larnate (though - technically - banned these day), but also using many other chemicals that are freely available over the counter.

Oh, and God forbid you should dare to take your dog for a walk near the beach as the Cypriot's are liable to string you up - or run you over. I mean this quite literally - as you may have read about the Paphos man and his dog who were deliberately run over and killed by an irate Cypriot who did not agree to him walking the dog near the beach - Paphos Man Killed for Walking Dog .


2. Driving - incompetent/discourteous/parking

People in Cyprus drive how they want and where they want, with little to no regard for human safety or road sense. Abit like the 70s in the UK, drinking and driving is rife - and just to bring things bang up to date, they also make extensive use of their mobile phones whilst driving. In fact, using a mobile phone whilst driving is so common you would think it was needed to steer their cars, and judging by how they park perhaps it is - thought this point will require further investigation. Also, seat belt seem to be considered decorative items amongst Cypriot drivers, and rarely will you see a driver (or any other occupants, including children) using one.

There was a time only recently that drivers were allowed to park on the pavement, even though they would have received a ticket for parking on a double yellow line on the road next to it - yes, really! Recently the law moved, just abit, to place a ban on all parking on walkways. Nowadays, drivers still park on pavements with no come-back from police or traffic wardens. However, I am sure that these drivers feel guilty about it and will eventually learn their lesson!?? Speaking of traffic wardens, try to park on the Larnaca sea front along with EVERYONE else (it has a single yellow line), and you will soon realise that the only cars to get a ticket are those with foreign plates or car rentals. I wander why this is??! I guess whoever said that "the only thing that saves us from a corrupt banana bureaucracy is its inefficiency", was right!

Not quite to the same extent as Egypt, but drivers in Cyprus often use their horn and indicators interchangeable. The Cypriot car horn is very much considered a general purpose item, and is also often used as a stress toy, or as a musical instrument in order to beep along to whatever's on the radio. God forbid there's a wedding or a football match on 'cos you'll be bleeding from the ears by the time you get home.

3. Traffic

Until recently there was little to no public transport in Cyprus, so if you don't have a car you are pretty much staying at home or spending a fortune on taxi cabs. Ok, these days there are giant blue buses apparently taking people between the major cities for 2 Euros a throw - which is pretty cheap, but I am yet to see a single one of these buses ever pull over and stop to pick anyone up. Do they actually stop? Does anyone know where? Perhaps they just go around in a big circle all day long so that EU diplomats and the next bunch of UN suits who come over for a jolly at public expense to once again fail to help Cyprus reach a settlement on reunification (that none of they really wants, by the way) will think Cyprus has a public transport infrastructure.

BTW, they used to have a rail way system back in the 1950s, but since kicking the British out of Cyprus and claiming independence, they seem to have forgotten how to operate it. Needless to say, they no longer have one! Reminds me of what happened with Concord - too far ahead of its time!

4. Car Import Duty

This is the biggest public con of them all! Cyprus is a full member of Europe - a free market where goods and services can be traded without the overhead of uncompetitive practises such as tariffs and customs charges. However, bring your car over, and a customs charge of between 2000 and 4000 Euros is imposed on your - something that is entirely illegal by EU legislation. However, you are not allowed to register your car unless you pay it. Of course, you could take them to court in the hope of getting a customs charge refund - but by the time the case was settled you would probably have sold one of your kidneys along with everything else you own - all towards your unrecoverable legal expenses.

5. Cypriot Youth (that pretend to like football).

At or during the time of a local football game do not under any circumstances consider going to your local hostelry to partake or a bevi or two.. You run the risk of baring witness to 10s if not hundreds of hooded young Cypriot w*nkers decending on the pace in order to assault the bar staff, customers, and wreck the place. Only recently a bar around the corner from where I work on Griva Dhigeni, Nicosia was trashed by more than 100 hooded youths, who assaulted the owners and his staff, chopping one of his fingers off in the process just because the landlord happened to support one of the other local football teams. The ironic thing was that the football team that the hooligans support had actually won that night! Morons!


6. August Break.

This is a break time of year if you want to beat the traffic as most Cypriot people disappear to the UK, Paphos or Ayia Napa. However, try and see a doctor, a car mechanic, a vet or most anyone else you might need, and you will probably be out of luck.. they will likely be in the UK, Paphos or Ayia Napa! I tell you, its a good job the Kiti power station explosion that killed 18 people and cut the power supply to the whole of Cyprus by 50% didn't happen during August - else everyone who didn't go away during the August break would be living in their own filth and looting for firewood by now!

6. Discriminatory Charging

7. Bad television

10 Things I Love About Cyprus

To be honest, I intended to post on the 10 things I don't like about Cyprus because these are the things you wouldn't normally be aware of until you got here. However, I didn't want the blog to start on a sour note so I thought I would tell you about the 10 best things about Cyprus first. To be fair, and all said and done, there is no much more to love about the place than to loath, so anyway, here goes:

1. The beach. I live in Oroklini (near Larnaca) so for me these would the ones around Larnaca, Protaras and Ayia Napa (Easter Cyprus). The sand from the coast of Limassol all the way around to Ayia Napa is generally soft. In the West of Cyprus (around Paphos) the sand is usually more shingly, but the natural scenery is more dramatic. From my experience, the West of Cyprus has the most beautiful coastline and beaches to look at, but the East of Cyprus has the most enjoyable beaches to actually use, with soft sand, only graduated water depth, and extensive facilities for anyone who likes to spend alot of time at the beach.

An exception is Cape Greko on the most eastern tip of (southern - e.g. Greek) Cyprus - an exceptionally dramatic part of the Eastern coast, and a place well worth a visit for the views alone. Cape Greko is also famed for its snorkeling - which as a rule is hardly ever very good in Cyprus - but this place apparently has the best of what there is. Personally I have visited the place, but didn't snorkel on that occasion. I did however snorkel just up the road at Konnos Bay. For marine life its certainly no Sharm El Shiek, but there's always something to look at - and anyway, Konnos Bay is perhaps the most beautiful bay in the whole of Cyprus.

2. The mountains. Almost 2 thirds of Cyprus is covered by the Troudos Mountain range - so almost anywhere you go you see hills and mountains. In fact, when traveling on the Island's main highway - the A1 - your ears pop at certain points during any journey between Larnaca, Nicosia (also called Lefkosia), Limassol, and Paphos. Having such a mountainous landscape makes for lots of variety at different times of the year. For instance, I used to live in Nicosia. Between January and March, you could be enjoying the warm sunshine in Nicosia in the morning, and only 45 minutes later, you could be skiing in 6 foot of snow at the Mount Olympus ski lodge.. Pretty cool, huh!

3. The weather. For me the best time to come to Cyprus is from the beginning of July. The sea is still abit cold for me until then. Right now its August so the sea is like bath water - though temperatures are close to the 40s so not ideal for everyone - especially the Cypriots themselves, who moan on insesently about the summer temperatures at seem to take holidays in the UK at any opportunity. Personnally, after three years here, I still haven't missed Blighty enough to resort to this kind of holiday madness.

4. The wildlife. Ok, so you won’t see any crocodiles, lions or tigers - but you will see lots of creatures and creepy-crawlies that you won’t usually see in the UK, such as snakes, praying manti, giant spiders (apparently - haven’t actually seen these tarantula sized spiders yet, but they are out there I understand), flying locus, dragon flies, and occasionally other things that we couldn't even get Google to identify for us - oh, and let’s not forget those tourists!

5. August. Not so much because of the whether, but because everyone seems to disappear to either the UK, Ayia Napa or Paphos, leaving the streets of Larnaca and Nicosia, and most other places in Cyprus deserted. If you have experienced the traffic during any other part of the year (I commute 45 mins from Larnaca to Nicosia every day) you will appreciate this greatly. Most companies in Cyprus impose leave on all of their employees during some or most of August - perhaps originally because of the heat, but now given the advent of air conditioning, more likely because of tradition.

6. No council tax or TV license. {No crappy BBC to pay for regardless of whether you watch it! Still amazed that such draconian laws still exist in the UK.}

7. Taxes. In Cyprus you get a €19000 personal tax allowance - and a tax break for the first 3 years you're here. If you compare that to you poxy £6000 tax allowance in the UK, I'm surprised you're not already on the plane! By the way, for you business people, companies only pay 10% corporate tax, compared to about 22% in the UK. Further, (good for whether or not you are in business) VAT in Cyprus is only 15% - not 20% as it is in the UK.

8. Almost everyone speaks good English. In fact more people speak English in Cyprus than they speak Greek! Would recommend you learnt to speak Greek though so you can really feel at home.

9. Bank Holidays. With an average of 15 bank holidays a year in addition to the standard 4 weeks leave per year - assuming you can find a job in Cyprus (big assumption!) you'll actually have time to enjoy it.

10. Not being in the UK. Ok, thats probably abit unfair.. I miss friends and family left back in the UK, the history and architecture of the place, the cosy village pubs, the hustle and bustle and shear diversity of life in a place like London, and much else. I guess what I'm saying is - I love the UK, and like to visit - but I wouldnt want to live there.. Pretty ironic really!